


helplessly unsatisfied

by ImJustPassingThrough



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: A Winter's Ball (Hamilton), Angst, Brent Bennett Loves Ryan Bergara, F/M, M/M, Marriage, Party, Pining Ryan Bergara, Ryan Bergara Loves Shane Madej, Ryan Lets Shane Go, Sara Rubin Loves Shane Madej, Shane Madej Loves Ryan Bergara, Shane Madej loves Sara Rubin, Song: Helpless (Hamilton), Song: Satisfied (Hamilton), Unrequited Love, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:49:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27615805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImJustPassingThrough/pseuds/ImJustPassingThrough
Summary: Ryan loves Shane, so much, but he wants Sara to be happy, so he stands by.
Relationships: Brent Bennett/Ryan Bergara, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Ryan Bergara & Sara Rubin, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej, Shane Madej/Sara Rubin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	helplessly unsatisfied

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics belong to Lin-Manuel Miranda for the songs, 'A Winters Ball', 'Helpless' and 'Satisfied'.
> 
> Needs to be said, Shane ends up with Sara, because lets be honest despite shipping Ryan and Shane, I will always prefer Shane's very real relationship with Sara.

Ryan smiled at the Buzzfeed Winter Party. He's been here for a few months now, and has already got a good friend named Sara Rubin. Sara would talk about this tall guy called Shane Madej, apparently he was pretty cool, and funny. Ryan finally met Shane when the two worked on video together, then they kept bumping into each other. He wouldn't lie, they didn't talk much, only small conversations here and there, Shane didn't even know Ryan's name, but Ryan was in love with the big guy. Helplessly, in love. He found the guy to be funny, charming and cute. He was great, however he was afraid of Sara, as in he knew the short, creative girl could get whoever she wanted, but she never seemed to bother with Shane, she seemed uninterested, and instead saw him as a good friend. So, he had a chance! Until, he didn't...

Twenty-fifteen The Winter's Party, and Sara, and Ryan was the envy of all, and they were getting lots of compliments; Sara in her purple dress, and Ryan in his white button.

Sara looked up, and saw Ryan on the dance floor with a guy called Eugene, and the two friends shared a smile, they heard a door open, and turned to the door, and... Shane Madej walked in, in a blue button up, and he looked directly at Sara, and her heart went _boom_. She didn't see him go up to Ryan, and she didn't see him stop a guy called Brent from talking to Ryan, all she thought was, _'Look into your eyes, and the sky’s the limit I’m helpless! Down for the count, and I’m drownin’ in ‘em...'_ She didn't see Shane walk away with a grin, or see Ryan start dancing with Brent now. All she did was try and catch Shane's eyes from the side of the side off the dance floor.

Sara grabbed Ryan's arm and pulled him to the side, and whisper, "yo, this one’s mine." Ryan looked to where Sara jabbed her head, and saw it was Shane. Ryan patted her shoulder, and walked off, and made his way across the room to Shane. Sara got nervous thinking _'what's he gonna do?'_ She watched as Ryan grabbed Shane by the arm, and she thought, _'I’m through...'_ Then Shane looked back at her and suddenly she was helpless all over again.

Ryan and Shane had their arms linked together, and was walking towards Sara, and they were smiling to each other.

"Where are you taking me?" Shane asked with a smile.

_"I'm about to change your life."_ Ryan teased, leaning into Shane.

Shane grinned, "then by all means lead the way."

Ryan led Shane in front of Sara, and gave her a subtle nod to Shane. So, Sara smiled, "Sara Rubin. It’s a pleasure to meet you."

"Sara Rubin..." Shane copied, testing the name out, a small smile on his face.

_"My best friend."_ Ryan smiled.

Sara grinned, "I think you edit the videos well..." Ryan held back a laugh at his friends shy nature.

Shane grinned, and joked with her, "well, if it takes me editing videos for us to meet, it will have been worth it!" He held out his hand for, and she shyly took it.

Ryan smiled, _"I'll leave you to it."_

Sara grinned and walked off with Shane, their hands entwined together.

A few years later, Shane and Sara was dating, and her life got better every day that they were together. Sara would laugh at Ryan, as he always jokingly says he wanted to for a three way.

"I'm just sayin' if you really loved me you would share him!" Ryan joked, messing with Shane's gift to Sara, a stuffed teddy from the Hello Puppy Collection.

"Ha!" Sara laughed, snatching it away, and messing with it.

Ryan smiled, "you need to get on with work..." He said, regretfully, and taking the teddy away, "I'll put it in your bag." He walked off.

About a year later, Shane decided to talk to Sara's parents, and poor Sara was in the living room stressing, her parents were serious while Shane was asking for their blessing. Her father made his way across the room to Shane, and she panicked for a second, thinking _'we’re through...'_ But then he shook Shane's hand and said, "be true." Shane turned to Sara smiling, and suddenly she was helpless all over again. _'That boy is mine!'_ She thought, as Shane ran up to her and hugged her, and she hugged back with a large smile.

"Sara, I don’t have a dollar to my name, or a dollop of fame. All I have’s my scepticism, a tolerance for pain, with a couple of college credits and my top-notch brain." Shane smiled, holding Sara's hand gently, "my love for you is never in doubt. We’ll get a little place in town and we’ll figure it out!" He promised, gently bopping her nose and she giggled, "and long as I’m alive, Sara, I swear to God you’ll never feel so…" He trailed off.

"Helpless?" Sara offered, eyes soft.

Shane smiled, "yeah, helpless..." Everything was gonna be fine because Sara was in it...

Ryan was asked to be Shane's best man, and Brent agreed to walk him down the aisle, this was a joined effort between Shane and Sara, as Brent had a massive crush on Ryan, and Ryan was responding positively to him. The wedding was amazing, and lovely, and Brent held Ryan's hand all night, making Shane and Sara tease the two until it was the best man speech.

Eugene stumbled forward, alcohol in hand, "alright, alright! That’s what I’m talkin’ about!" He cheered, looking at Shane and Sara who stood centre stage, and the to everyone. "Now everyone give it up for the man of honour, Ryan Bergara!" Ryan stood up, wine glass in hand, and everyone cheered.

Ryan looked to Shane with a smile, _"a toast to the groom!"_ Shane smiled in response.

_"To the groom!_ _To the groom!_ _To the groom!"_ The crowd repeated.

Ryan looked to Sara with a smile, _"to the bride!"_ Sara smiled.

_"To the bride!_ _To the bride!_ _To the bride!"_ The crowed repeated.

_"From your best friend!"_ Ryan grinned at his friends.

_"Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!"_

_"Who's always by your side!"_ Ryan promised, smiling.

_"By your side! By your side!"_

_"To your union!"_ Ryan continued his toast to the newly weds.

_"To the union! The special union!"_

_"And the hope that you provide!"_ Ryan continued.

_"You provide! You provide!"_

_"May you always..."_ Ryan smiled, as everyone raised their glasses.

_"Always!"  
_

_"Be satisfied!"_ Ryan finished, a wide smile on his face.

**_Rewind_ **

Ryan's smile vanished.

_ Rewind, Rewind _

Ryan was no longer at the wedding.

_~~Helpless, sky's, sky's~~ _

Ryan was at the Buzzfeed Winter Party.

_**Drownin' in em**  
**Drownin', rewind** _

_'I remember that night, I just might...' **Rewind**_

_  
'I remember that night, I just might...' Rewind_

_  
'I remember that night, I remember that—'_

Ryan found himself on the dance floor with Eugene, he looked up and saw Sara, and the two friends shared a smile. _'I remember that night, I just might regret that night for the rest of my days...'_ Ryan thought, _'I remember those Buzzfeed guys tripping over themselves to win our praise...'_ Sara, and Ryan was the envy of all, and they were getting lots of compliments; Sara in her purple dress, and Ryan in his white button. _'I remember that dreamlike candlelight like a dream that you can’t quite place...'_

The two friends heard a door open, and turned to the door, and... Shane Madej walked in, in a blue button up, and he looked directly at Ryan, _'but Shane Madej, I’ll never forget the first time I saw your face...'_ Everything seemed to freeze, _'I have never been the same. Intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame...'_ Shane moved over at the same time as Brent. _'And when you said “Hi,” I forgot my dang name,'_ Brent went to greet Ryan. _'Set my heart aflame, ev’ry part aflame...'_

_'This is not a game…'_ Shane stopped Brent from greeting Ryan, and took Ryan's hand in his.

_"You strike me as a man who has never been satisfied..."_ Shane smirked.

_"I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. You forget yourself..."_ Ryan responded, shyly.

_"You’re like me. I’m never satisfied..."_ Shane admitted, looking down, almost ashamed of himself.

_"Is that right?"_ Ryan asked, no judgement in his voice.

_"I have never been satisfied..."_ Shane said, this time with less shame, and this time with hope that this shorter man would understand him, and kissed his knuckles. Shane then silently scolded himself, I mean, who kisses peoples knuckles anymore?

_"My name is Ryan Bergara."_ Ryan introduced, and bowed playfully, his cheeks flushed.

_"Shane Alexander Madej..."_ Shane introduced himself, officially now.

_"Where’s your fam’ly from?"_ Ryan asked with smile.

Shane smiled, and shook his head, _"unimportant. There’s a million things I haven’t done, but just you wait,"_ he held up one finger, _"just you wait…"_ He walked off with a grin.

_'So so so—'_ Ryan thought, helplessly, hoping that this was his chance.

  
_'So this is what it feels like to match wits with someone at your level! What the hell is the catch? It’s the feeling of freedom, of seein’ the light, it’s Ben Franklin with a key and a kite! You see it, right?'_ Brent had made his way back over, and had taken Ryan's hands to dance.

_'The conversation lasted two minutes, maybe three minutes. Ev’rything we said in total agreement, it’s a dream and it’s a bit of a dance, a bit of a posture, it’s a bit of a stance.'_ Ryan danced with Brent in a love fog and mind for Shane. _'He’s a bit of a flirt, but I’m ‘a give it a chance. I asked about his fam’ly, did you see his answer? His hands started fidgeting, he looked askance? He’s penniless, he’s flying by the seat of his pants...'_

Ryan finished his dance with Brent, much to his relief, Brent was not his type of guy, _'handsome, boy, does he know it! Peach fuzz, and he can’t even grow it! I wanna take him far away from this place...'_ Sara grabbed Ryan's arm and pulled him to the side, _'then I turn and see my best face and she is…'_

_"Helpless…"_ Sara whispered, a smile on her face. _  
_

_'And I know she is…'  
_

_"Helpless…"_ Sara said, jabbing her head in a direction. _  
_

_'And her eyes are just…'  
_

_"Helpless…"  
  
_  
Ryan looked to where Sara jabbed her head, and saw it was Shane. _'And I realize...'_ Ryan patted her shoulder, and walked off, and made his way across the room to Shane. ' _Three fundamental truths at the exact same time…'  
_

Ryan grabbed Shane by the arm, and noticed Sara was watching, nervously.

"Where are you taking me?" Shane asked with a smile.

_"I'm about to change your life."_ Ryan teased, leaning into Shane.

Shane grinned, "then by all means lead the way."

Everything seemed to pause.

_**'Number one!'** _

  
_'I’m a guy in a world in which my only job is to marry rich...'_ His father was backward. _'My father has two sons, but I’m the one who has to social climb for one. So I’m the oldest and the wittiest and the gossip in California is insidious. And Shane Madej is penniless...'_ He looked to Shane. _'Ha! That doesn’t mean I want him any less...'_

Ryan led Shane in front of Sara, and gave her a subtle nod to Shane. So, Sara smiled, "Sara Rubin. It’s a pleasure to meet you."

"Sara Rubin..." Shane copied, testing the name out, a small smile on his face.

_"My best friend."_ Ryan smiled.

Everything paused again.

_**'Number two!'** _

_'He’s after me cuz I’m a great editor that elevates his status, I’d have to be naive to set that aside maybe that is why,'_ Ryan looked to Sara with a smile, _'I introduce him to Sara, now that’s his bride! Nice going, Bergara, he was right, you will never be satisfied...'_

Sara grinned, "I think you edit the videos well..." Ryan held back a laugh at his friends shy nature.

Shane grinned, and joked with her, "well, if it takes me editing videos for us to meet, it will have been worth it!" He held out his hand for, and she shyly took it.

Ryan smiled, _"I'll leave you to it."_

Sara grinned and walked off with Shane, their hands entwined together.

Once they were out of sight, Ryan immediately let that happy smile turn to a pained smile, and the finally a frown.

**_'Number three!'_ **

_'I know my best friend like I know my own mind,'_ Ryan teased Sara about the stuffed teddy, ' _you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind.'_ He took it away and backed away to put it in her bag. _'If I tell her that I love him she’d be silently resigned. He’d be mine! She would say, "I’m fine", she’d be lying.'_

_'But when I fantasize at night it’s Shane Madej's eyes...'_ Ryan looked down, 'a _s I romanticize what might have been if I hadn’t sized him up so quickly...'_ Ryan smiled sadly, 'a _t least my dear Sara's his wife; At least I keep his eyes in my life…'  
_

Ryan was thrown back to present time, and noticed he was still at this damned wedding, a wedding he wished was his with Shane. He was thankful that time hadn't passed, his memories was under a second, and so he continued with his speech for Shane and Sara.

Ryan looked to Shane with a small smile, _"to the groom!"_ Shane smiled in response.

_"To the groom!_ _To the groom!_ _To the groom!"_ The crowd repeated.

Ryan looked to Sara with a small smile, _"to the bride!"_ Sara smiled.

_"To the bride!_ _To the bride!_ _To the bride!"_ The crowed repeated.

_"From your best friend!"_ Ryan smiled slightly at his friends.

_"Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!"_

_"Who's always by your side!"_ Ryan promised, voice shaky.

_"By your side! By your side!"_

_"To your union!"_ Ryan continued his toast to the newly weds.

_"To the union! The special union!"_

_"And the hope that you provide!"_ Ryan continued.

_"You provide! You provide!"_

_"May you always..."_ Ryan said, holding back tears, as everyone raised their glasses.

_"Always!"  
_

_"Be satisfied!"_ Ryan finished, his smile less.

**_Be satisfied_ **  
**_Be satisfied_ **  
**_Be satisfied_ **

Wedding now over, guests slowly left, and Shane and Sara waved everyone of, as Brent kissed Ryan's cheek, and left with the other guests. Ryan looked down, he really wished he said no to Brent, but it was the best he could do...

_"And I know..."_ Ryan sighed, watching Shane and Sara from a distance.

**_Be satisfied_ **  
**_Be satisfied_ **  
**_Be satisfied_ **

  
_"She'll be happy as his bride..."_ Ryan smiled sadly, watching them. He fell silent when Sara moved over and kissed his cheek in thanks and walked off to leave.

**_Be satisfied_ **  
**_Be satisfied_ **  
**_Be satisfied_ **  
**_Be satisfied_ **

  
_"And I know..."_ Ryan watched as Shane moved over to him, the two had a look in their eyes, a slight longing. The two shook hands, and they both knew then and there, their feelings for each other never left, and it grew when they worked with Unsolved.

  
**_Be satisfied_ **  
**_Be satisfied_ **  
**_Be satisfied_ **  
**_Be satisfied_ **

Ryan looked down, _"you will never be satisfied..."_ He said, frowning.

Shane looked down, and nodded in agreement, he hasn't been for years, and he won't be for years to come. He glanced to where Brent had sat with Ryan, _"you will never be satisfied..."_

Ryan kissed Shane's cheek, and let him go, watching as Shane left, hesitantly. There's no one like Shane, but he's married... So, he'll settle with Brent; even if they're never satisfied...


End file.
